As our recent posts have made abundantly clear, it’s that time of year again. All of the geeks in the Twin Cities and beyond are getting together for the epic geek party: CONvergence. Oh, sure, I thought about attending this year, but I have 10 better things I’m doing instead, and I’ll give them to you right now.
1. Changing Toddler Diapers
Because you know what’s way more fun than participating in a Joss Whedon–themed yoga experience? Toddler diapers.
2. Hanging Out Watching Netflix Alone
At CONvergence, Cinema Rex has comfy chairs, snacks, and the glee of sharing your nerd passion with others, but why would I do that when I could watch Buffy season 7 for the 10th time through? Priorities, people.
3. Not Changing Out of My Pajamas for Three Days
It may not be a handcrafted cosplay masterpiece that I spent the last nine months constructing, but damn, they’re comfy.
4. Defrosting the Refrigerator
I mean, I know I could be throwing a party in my hotel room and laughing and talking until daybreak, but this is not a task that can be done on any of the 361 other days of the year. No, sir.
5. Checking Facebook
Why would I go to the trouble to meet and hang out with real people who share my interests and passions when I can just read about the fun they’re all having on social media? WHY WOULD I DO THAT?
6. Washing My Hair
Just kidding. No way am I planning on showering this weekend. You’re welcome, husband and child.
7. Unpacking My Blu-Ray Collection
It’s been in a moving box for two years. How can I even think about spending four days meeting new people and finding new things to geek out about when my Blu-rays clearly need to be put on the bookshelf RIGHT THE HELL NOW?
8. Playing Farmville 2
There are brand-new games being tested and enjoyed at the Bloomington DoubleTree, but these pattypan squash aren’t going to harvest themselves, amirite?
9. Catching Up on YouTube Videos
One the one hand, I could spend Saturday evening jamming out to Bad September, but on the other hand, I could also watch Honest Trailers for three hours. Have you seen Honest Trailers? That stuff’s hilarious!
10. Watching This Fireworks GIF
What, you think I’m going to actually drive somewhere, find parking and a spot to sit, and watch real fireworks? Have you been paying attention to any of this post? Seriously?