I Survived the Rainbow Cloud Roll at the Minnesota State Fair

Different people have different reactions to the food at the Minnesota State Fair every year. Some people are happy when there are new, healthier options. Some people make lists of all the new and limited-edition beers available at the fair and go down that list in a methodical fashion. Some people assign D&D-style alignments to the different new foods.

Alignment chart for 2018 Minnesota State Fair foods

And some people, namely me, see the assignment of a Rainbow Cloud Roll as Chaotic Evil and take that as a dare.

Much like Marty McFly, I can’t resist a dare of this sort. If I were entirely like Marty McFly, I would have gone to the State Fair on opening day and gotten a fluff roll then, but I’m more like Marty McFly at the end of Back to the Future Part III—I’ve learned that sometimes, discretion is the better part of valor. So I waited until I had a whole day to spend at the fair and could properly appreciate the Chaotic Evilness in its full glory.

I knew I had to work up to it, though, so I started by laying down a good foundation of limited-edition beer: the Grapefruit Ode IPA from Castle Danger Brewing. Next, I went for another Minnesota special, a chicken and wild rice burrito from Tejas Express in the Garden, enjoying a credible rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody” from a karaoke participant while I ate it. (The mango-habanero salsa was only spicy by Minnesota standards, alas.) Last, I fortified myself with a “Minnesota Mix” craft beer flight from the Minnesota Craft Brewers Guild in the Agriculture Building.

And then it was time.

The Rainbow Cloud Roll stand

I have arrived. Madeleine Vasaly

Located in the Grandstand, on the upper floor toward the west end, the Rainbow Cloud Roll stand stood among a random variety of stalls, but its line went out the door onto the bridge. I found the end and waited with trepidation. Would it be as chaotic and evil as my fellow Twin Cities Geek writer had predicted? Would I be able to finish it?

Cloud Roll being made

The birth of evil. Madeleine Vasaly

The station was, by this point in the fair, a well-oiled machine; the line barely took five minutes of waiting, and I gave them my eight dollars and took a paper boat over to station number 4, where the Superman ice-cream rolls were being made. (I figured, go full rainbow or go home.)

And this happened.

Chaotic evil, indeed.

I took a bite, then another bite, and another, and it melted in my mouth. All of it, even the fruity cereal bits.

Assembled Cloud Roll

Such a chaotic evil fluff roll. Stephanie Cranford

It’s clearly evil, in the way that small, cute, fluffy things can be deeply and inherently evil. See, for example, this prize-winning Dwarf Hotot rabbit—definitely Chaotic Evil.

Small white bunny with evil black "eyeliner"

Clearly evil. Stephanie Cranford

The Cloud Roll was also surprisingly edible. While I’ll confess to having a high tolerance for sweets—I had a Cake’d Up Celebration Beer later in the day—I didn’t feel like the fluff came anywhere near my tolerance for sweet in one sitting, let alone one day. The fruit flavors in the ice cream and the cereal cut through the cloying sweetness of the cotton candy quite nicely, and the “three scoops of ice cream” inside are small enough to make it manageable. I also succeeded in eating most of it without a spoon, until the cotton candy all melted in my fingers. Would I go back and eat another one? Well, not today (I’m full, mostly of beer, if you couldn’t guess), but if they’re back next year? I will absolutely take my chances with the Chaotic Evil fluff again.

Go full rainbow or go home!

Comments

  1. By Kimber Louisiana

    Reply

Leave a Comment

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!