Kelly CursesContributor (Television Reviews)

K. R. Curses is a writer, cosplayer, comedian, and animal lover from Richfield. She graduated with a BA in film from Columbia College Chicago and spent a few years in Los Angeles using that degree before panic attacks made themselves at home. She studied comedy sketch writing at UCB Sunset and worked as a circus freak at haunted houses, including Rob Zombie’s Great American Nightmare and the Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor. When haunt was in the offseason, she waited tables at Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville while she worked freelance reading books and writing book reports called “coverage” for Lifetime Network. She has also worked behind the scenes (behind the corn?) in the Dark Harvest maze at ValleyScare.

She earned herself the nickname “the Trash Witch” because she would pick up discarded furniture from the side of the road and clothes from estate sales and thrift stores, use her “magic” to turn them into things that were functional and beautiful, and sell them. (“Magic” mainly includes contact paper, paint, sandpaper, and glitter.) Ask about her “familiars,” a trio of guinea pigs.

In 2012, she patterned and made a Snorlax beanbag chair for her sister, who saw one on Tumblr and had to have it. This adorable fat sack went mildly viral on the internet and launched her credibility as a pattern maker and seamstress to begin taking cosplay commissions to help pay the bills despite having zero real sewing tutelage. She was able to write off her Disneyland season pass on her taxes as a “business expense” because she recruited clients by handing out business cards there on Disneybound meetup days. The largest cosplay group she was ever a part of included Instagram superstars Angi Viper and Jimmy Sherfy, as the Black Moon Clan from Sailor Moon at Anime Los Angeles in 2016. Her most popular work was a Femme Kylo Ren tunic for Mistress of Fear. Her favorite job she’s ever done was designing her sister’s Star Wars–themed wedding, where the bride didn’t want a traditional dress, so she wore a pearl-white Jedi tunic, and the two bridesmaid dresses resembled R2-D2 and C-3PO. All three had pockets.

Her advice to cosplayers everywhere: always add pockets.

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