Getting Started with Personal Self-Defense

Self-defense is a recurring hot topic. Maybe you have considered buying pepper spray, tasers, knives, or other tools. Maybe you want to attend martial arts classes. Or maybe you’re considering buying a firearm.

I have run the gamut myself. I’ve had a permit to carry for over 10 years. I’ve taken martial arts classes as well as boxing. I generally keep self-defense tools on my person. Over time, I have been leaning away from lethal defense and shifting my focus toward nonlethal alternatives.

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I am not against guns. I will probably continue to renew my permit, and I enjoy going to the range. But I no longer wish to rely on my sidearm as my only—or even primary—method of self-defense.

In this article, I want to share what I’ve learned about the following topics:

• Situational Awareness
• Nonlethal Tools
• Self-Defense Classes
• Gun Ownership
• Advice from an Expert
• Practice Is the Best Practice

Situational Awareness

At every martial arts class I have taken, I’ve heard the mantra that the best way to handle a dangerous encounter is to avoid it in the first place. But how do you do that? Does situational awareness mean hypervigilance, constantly being on guard and looking over your shoulder? Such an approach hardly seems sustainable. So how do you practice situational awareness?

The first step is observation—not with a microscope, but with a wide lens. Keep your eyes off of your phone screen and your ears free from earbuds or headphones. Be aware of your surroundings and, most importantly, trust your gut.

A couple years ago, I read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. I found it both insightful and empowering, and since reading it, I have relied on my intuition more and tried not to reason away feelings of misgiving when they arise—I know now that those feelings do not come from nowhere. I highly recommend giving it a read. I do not agree with everything the author writes, but as with any book or article, I advise the reader to take what is useful and leave the rest behind.*

De Becker warns against hypervigilance, which is counterproductive, and instead advises, “Ideally, when there is fear, we look around, follow the fear, ask what we are perceiving. If we are looking for some specific, expected danger, we are less likely to see the unexpected danger.” The book is like a manual for understanding what intuition is and how to listen to it. I like his definition of intuition: “Intuition is the journey from A to Z without stopping at any other letter on the way. It is knowing without know why.”

Though it may sound counterintuitive (no pun intended), this advice helped me to navigate life with less fear, not more. As de Becker puts it, “Fear will gain credibility because it won’t be applied wastefully. When you accept the survival signal as a welcome message and quickly evaluate the environment and situation, fear stops in an instant. Thus, trusting intuition is the exact opposite of living in fear.”

Gavin de Becker is a security specialist, and his work revolves around assessing risk. He gives specific examples of how trusting your intuition can keep you safe and how ignoring it can put you in harm’s way. In many ways I am still learning to trust my intuition, but having read The Gift of Fear, I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I was a couple years back.

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Nonlethal Tools

In Minnesota, it’s legal to use pepper spray, Kubotans, and tasers in self-defense, and only in self-defense. The user must be at least 18 years of age (or 16 for pepper spray) with no felonies or any criminal records that would prevent them from owning one of the above. You can find all of these items fairly easily from online retailers or in person at gun shops and sporting goods stores.

The YouTube channel City Prepping has a great video on the subject: “Top 10 Non-Lethal Weapons You Can Still Buy.” Many of these are only for close-range altercations, but others, like pepper spray and air pistols, offer defense at a distance. Be sure to research each item’s legality before you buy.

Even if you own or plan to purchase a firearm, I recommend having nonlethal (or “less-lethal”) self-defense items on hand. A gun is not proportionate to every threat—for instance, if I were being charged by a dog, I would reach for my pepper spray, not my sidearm. Plus, many of these defense tools do not require permits to carry. Many, like knives and tactical flashlights, also have uses beyond defense. I always have a knife on me, and this is not for self-defense. Knives are wonderful tools with a huge range of uses, from opening packages to cutting through your seatbelt if your car ends up in a lake. (I probably use it to cut errant strings off my clothing more than anything else.)

Another benefit of nonlethal self-defense weapons is that they are far less likely to escalate a situation into a life-or-death encounter. I’m not saying that you should go through every option you have if an unsafe situation unfolds, but there are situations where a nonlethal weapon could be the safest option. Suppose, for instance, you are in public and someone is approaching you in a threatening manner. If there are people behind the potential assailant, a stray bullet may have unintended, deadly consequences for an innocent bystander. In this situation, pepper spray would be the safer option.

Finally, it’s important for you and the people around you that you’re comfortable with anything you choose to carry around. If you do not feel comfortable around a weapon, it is probably best you do not carry one around.

Even with nonlethal weapons, their use must be proportional to the perceived threat. If a child is hitting you with a stick, you don’t come out swinging with your expandable baton and break his legs. That would be wildly disproportionate and could land you an assault charge, among other things. Let common sense be your guide. Find something that suits your comfort level, learn to use it, know where you can and cannot carry it (tasers, for instance, cannot be legally carried in government buildings or schools), and exercise good judgment when defending yourself.

Self-Defense Classes

I am not a fan of lethal force as a primary means of protecting oneself, be that a knife or firearm. Over the years, I have taken karate, tae kwon do, jiu jitsu, boxing, and more. I am on the small side, so I will take any advantage I can get over an assailant. In addition to teaching you to protect yourself, martial arts offer other health benefits, such as improved balance, reducing stress, and improving coordination. They can also be a lot of fun.

Jiu jitsu is more akin to wrestling or grappling than I anticipated, but the first things I learned were how to get out of a hold. The Academy in Brooklyn Center offers jiu jitsu, kickboxing, MMA, and other disciplines. The first class is free, after which memberships start at $260 per month at the time of writing.

I’ve also taken boxing classes at Wurk Gym in Minnetonka, which offers both group classes and one-on-one training in boxing and mixed martial arts (MMA).

If you have the opportunity and the ability, take some classes. It is worth the time and effort.

Gun Ownership

Safety First

Those who have a permit to carry have heard it a thousand times: Never point your gun at anything you do not want to shoot, even if the gun is unloaded or the safety is on. Always keep your gun locked away safely when it is not on your person, especially if there are children or other household members who could stumble upon the gun and hurt themselves or others.

But it bears repeating because accidents with firearms can be deadly, and owning a gun means that you are responsible for it. That is not a responsibility to take lightly.

Firearms are deadly weapons and ought to be treated with respect, and safety should be paramount. Simply owning a firearm is not enough to keep you safe. You need to know not only how to use your gun but how to use it safely, which takes time and practice. This is one reason I am moving away from concealed carry as my primary means of self-defense.

Handling a firearm is much more than simply aiming and shooting. It takes a lot of practice to become proficient with any weapon, and firearms are no exception. You need to build muscle memory so that your shots don’t go wide of your target. This involves the whole body, not just your hands and your eyes—you need to know what stance to take, how to hold your arms when aiming your firearm, how to line up your sights, how to hold your hands around the grip. You need to be mindful of where your finger goes when you are aiming vs where it goes when you are ready to shoot. It is a lot to keep track of at once, but all of the above are paramount when operating a firearm safely.

To be as proficient with my sidearm as I should be for concealed carry, I would have to spend much more money than I care to on time at a gun range where I can shoot and rounds to use there. This adds up quickly. In order to be confident that I could operate my sidearm safely and effectively, I would need to go to the range at least once per week and shoot at least 100 rounds each visit, keeping track of my accuracy with a target. Already, we have the cost of the range fee, plus ammunition, plus multiple targets to track accuracy. I could afford to do that every once in a while, but I cannot afford to do that every single week. For some, the investment might be attainable and worthwhile. For myself and others, the cost might make responsible conceal-carry difficult to maintain. I prefer to put my money, time, and energy toward other pursuits.

Understandably, folks may want to be conscientious in their choice of firing range to ensure it’s a fit for their identity and beliefs. Fortunately, there are options in the Twin Cities metro that are not hardline right-wing and that serve diverse clientele.

Bill’s Gun Range in Robbinsdale has a large BIPOC client base—each time I have gone, I have been one of the only white customers. From what I have seen, the staff treats all of their customers with respect, regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation. I have seen them exchanging in friendly banter with customers from all walks of life.

Stock and Barrel Gun Club in Eagan and Modern Sportsman in Burnsville and Coon Rapids also come recommended to me by trusted sources. Oakdale Gun Club, an outdoor range, is strictly nonpartisan and requires a membership; depending on how often you go, this could save you money in the long run.

Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels

Requirements for Ownership

Anyone who wants to get a permit to carry a gun in Minnesota must take a class. But how do you find a reputable instructor? I recommend looking at the US Conceal Carry Association (USCCA) for classes offered near you. In Minnesota, classes must include:

• instruction in the fundamentals of pistol use
• successful completion of an actual shooting qualification exercise
• instruction in the fundamental legal aspects of pistol possession, carrying, and use, including self-defense and the restrictions on the use of deadly force

The USCCA takes it a step further, teaching situational awareness and conflict avoidance on top of the state’s minimum requirements. The organization’s focus is on creating safe, responsible gun owners, and it is also a great legal resource in case you ever do have to fire your weapon. In 2024, the Minnesota Supreme Court ruled that you have “a duty to retreat, even when threatened with bodily harm.” Put simply, “duty to retreat” means that if there is a way out of a situation, you must take it. This also means that if you do shoot at someone, you could be charged with assault with a deadly weapon, manslaughter, or worse. Besides criminal charges, you could also face civil liability.

Because defending yourself could land you in legal trouble, it is important to understand when deadly force is justified in the state of Minnesota. As the USCCA puts it, “The intentional taking of the life of another is only legal if necessary in resisting or preventing an offense which the actor reasonably believes exposes the actor or another to great bodily harm or death or preventing the commission of a felony in the actor’s place of abode.” In Minnesota, use of deadly force is a last resort.

Again, I am not antigun. And I am not trying to dissuade anyone from pursuing a license to carry. But I would urge you to do your due diligence when choosing a class and an instructor.

The USCCA caters to all political leanings, but if you are looking for inclusivity and representation beyond political allegiance, there are a few options in the Twin Cities. Strong Arm Protection and Right to Bear are two local Black-owned companies that teach permit-to-carry classes, among other offerings. There is also Minneapolis-based Sequeerity, which you may have seen at Pride, geek conventions, and other local events. A queer- and POC-owned business run by a deescalation team, Sequeerity offers permit-to-carry classes as well as classes on situational awareness, law and liability, safety and medical plans, and more. Their goal is “to create and maintain safe spaces for everyone, especially for the LGBTQIA+ community.” If you are in need of a queer-friendly class, they’ve got you covered.

A permit to carry is a big responsibility, and it is important to find a class that will do more than teach you how to shoot, and the above organizations do just that with their emphasis on conflict avoidance and de-escalation.

Advice from an Expert

As I mentioned, I am on the small side—I believe my medical chart lists my height at five foot two if the doctor is feeling generous. As a result, in many of the classes I’ve mentioned, I found myself paired with 12-year-old sparring partners because they were the only other students in my height and weight class. I grew tired of that arrangement rather quickly, and after attending several classes of various martial arts and boxing disciplines, I decided it was time to try private lessons. This led me to Eric Naylor of Minnesota Kung Fu.

Eric has been teaching kung fu and self-defense classes for over 30 years and has decades of experience besides. He has earned my trust and respect as an instructor, and his expertise has been indispensable in both my own journey through martial arts and the writing of this article.

The Realities of Self-Defense

At one point, I was second-guessing the merits of continuing with self-defense classes. During one evening’s session, thoughts like Do I really stand a chance in a real fight? Am I kidding myself? Am I delusional to believe I could ever fight someone off on my own? were running through my head. This is not a reflection on Eric as an instructor, but merely my own tendency to overthink, overanalyze, and second-guess myself. As our session wrapped up and I prepared to leave, I decided to broach the subject. I took a deep breath and asked, “Would you be real with me for a minute? Am I wasting my time on kung fu? Would I be better served to practice and get really good with a handgun?”

His answer was unequivocally no, and he laid out the reasons, which he later reiterated for me on the record.

“One of the biggest problems with concealed carry as a means of self-defense is the time it takes to draw and fire a gun,” Eric explained. “Because most cases of violence happen at a close range, often starting at under 10 feet, sometimes as close as a couple feet […] concealed carry works much better if the person being attacked is not you, but someone at a distance away from you.”

He added, “Another problem with relying on conceal carry for self-defense is you will not always have your gun on you.” There are places you won’t be able or won’t want to bring a gun, like work, or you could simply forget it at home. Martial arts don’t have these limitations.

“If you learn self-defense, of course, you can always use it, and a good class will also teach improvised weapons so you can use whatever you have nearby to help defend yourself,” Eric says. I can attest that, as much as I sometimes wish I could, I have never left myself at home when I leave for work.

Plus, in contrast to what I mentioned earlier about the time and money it takes to keep up one’s skill with a sidearm, I can practice kung fu every day for free. For the most part, I do.

Volodymyr Shcherbak/Adobe Stock

Key Skills

Firearms aside, I wanted to know what sort of advice Eric would give me and Twin Cities Geek readers in terms of self-defense techniques. I asked him whether there was any one self-defense skill someone should try to hone.

“There is no one size fits all answer. But the key for combat is the simpler and quicker a technique, the better,” he told me. “But the main thing that will help for self-defense is to avoid fighting if possible through being aware of your surroundings and deescalating situations whenever possible.” Again, situational awareness and avoiding a fight in the first place are always prudent.

I also wanted to touch on different styles of self-defense. As I mentioned, I have run the gamut of self-defense techniques. I asked what a person should look for when choosing a self-defense class and whether there are any red flags to watch for. Eric gave a thoughtful, nuanced answer:

The problem with styles is there are some that are more effective for self-defense than others, but all styles have good and bad instructors […] a bad instructor will make a style less effective, and a good one will make it more. […]

The main areas schools usually focus on, whether they say it or not, is one or a combination of these areas: health, competition, tradition, and self-defense. Some schools will claim to teach all of these, which is possible if it’s in different classes […] but often the training for these can contradict each other, in which case the instructor has to choose which they teach. So if your priority is self-defense, then you want to make sure the instructor’s priority when teaching is the same as yours.

In other words, communication is key. I have found my niche in kung fu, and not only for the self-defense aspect. I find that practicing can have a meditative effect that helps alleviate stress. I also notice that my balance and spatial awareness have improved. I have always considered myself rather clumsy, but since practicing kung fu regularly, my reflexes have become quicker and I don’t run into furniture or trip over my own feet as much as I used to.

You, like me, may find it take several tries to find something that is a good fit for your goals. You may need to attend several different kinds of classes to find the right discipline and the right instructor. In my experience, the effort is worthwhile.

Practice Is the Best Practice

As with anything, if you don’t use it, you lose it. Whether it is boxing or MMA or something else, keep at your self-defense techniques as best you can so your skills stay sharp. Whatever your tool of choice, learning how to use it will serve you best. If you buy a gun and then keep it locked away and never practice with it, you will find yourself ill-prepared if a time ever comes when you must use it. The same is true for tasers and pepper spray. Ensure the tool is in working order, and practice using it without accidentally turning it on yourself. (I once accidentally squirted some pepper spray into the wind. I got an unplanned lesson on its effectiveness that day, and I do not recommend it.)

If you go to boxing classes, see if you can source a punching bag to practice at home. If you find a self-defense class you want to try, invite a friend or two and hold each other accountable to keep going. Practice your moves and train together outside of class if you can. Even practicing by yourself in front of a mirror will help build and maintain muscle memory. If you own a firearm, take it to the range regularly.

There are plenty of options for self-defense, and my desire is that you never have to use any of them. But should you need to, I hope you find something that keeps you prepared for whatever comes your way.

*Editor’s note: Discussion of The Gift of Fear as a helpful starting place for self-defense and situational awareness should also not be construed as an endorsement by the author or Twin Cities Geek of Gavin de Becker’s views or writings on other topics.